4 Things I Say No to: Game-changing Things I Don't Buy as a Minimalist

1. No to fantasy self

I try to spend more time with my real self rather than with my fantasy self.

I do have a fantasy self and she’s very stubborn about decluttering. I’m having more success with being with me rather than her.

My fantasy self is a mindful intellectual who can create easily and beautifully all the time, who always owns her decisions, believes she has endless time, and the mental power to learn anything as long as she really wants it.

She’s very intimidating, she makes me feel less, and that’s why I say no to her.

My real self? I’m human, I’m imperfect, and I struggle and procrastinate just like everyone else. But after living all these years on this planet, I know for sure that if I was really my fantasy self, I would be so boring. 

2. No to eternal youth agenda

I accept aging, though it can be very challenging.

I was born and grew up in a culture where, after 30, a woman is considered old.

I had a partner who was eight years older than me and, on many occasions, he told me how he thought women of his age were not interesting or fresh enough.

I was in my 20s and I was too timid to speak up. Even before I turned 30, I did Botox and fillers in my nasolabial folds just in fear of aging. I was so stressed back then.

I have turned 40 and have not done that again. I don’t have any fancy or anti-age skincare. My current face cleanser serum and lotion costs about $28 overall.

I see my body change and I don’t freak out.

I do dye my hair now but I used to have gray hair. I will certainly get back to that, but not now because I’m enjoying the color.

I’ve never tried to hide my age, although in my culture it’s such a common thing. 

I don’t use any makeup except mascara and a bit of lipstick. I don’t use concealers or foundation to hide my skin’s imperfections. I also do not have bright direct light to hide my wrinkles in videos.

I still have a long way to go with aging but I feel so relieved that I stopped this inner hysteria and obsession with the cultish concept of eternal youth. Simplicity in self-representation in this world matters to me now.

3. No to the image that is expected of me

Have you ever encountered well-meaning, though toxic advice about what you should look like, act, or be in person or online? I bet the answer is yes.

Although we have a very rapidly spreading culture of acceptance and tact, there are still many hurtful comments and attitudes. I’ve been advised to look more feminine, to have longer hair, to have a less blunt, and less Soviet minimalist style.

I bet these thoughts are from people who mean well, but will I ever listen to their advice? No. I say no to compliance with other people’s standards.

I dress and act how I feel. I embrace my love of solitude and quietness. Staying true to your own core is so empowering and it simplifies life.

You don’t have to be torn between suggested versions of yourself and who you want to be. You just have to choose what you really are and that’s it. 

4. No to uncontrolled information to feed

I always control what information to consume.

You may think we always have the choice of what we read, listen to, or watch. But we don’t, really.

Most times we are fed loads of information and we get used to it and think it’s our fault that we feel distracted all the time. We say that our attention span has declined but in reality we just have so much more information that we have to cope with.

At the moment, I’m done with short-form content. I prefer an uncluttered information space where I am more or less in control of what comes into my feed.

I always carefully choose between new channels and videos that I’m recommended. I value my time and I'd rather rewatch an old movie from my old hard drive than click on a shallow new video.

Does it sound arrogant? Maybe. I just strongly believe that we are what we consume. 

Things I don't buy as a minimalist

Minimalism is not just things a minimalist would never buy or about not owning any clutter. It’s about a simpler approach to life.

Say no to certain aspects of social culture and embrace what truly matters to you, not anyone else.

Please let me know in the comments if any of these thoughts resonate with you.