How To Go On A Date With Your Dinero

When I first started taking my dinero seriously, I didn’t realize how emotional it really made me.

I had originally used my money as a tool to “feel better” in the form of shopping, collecting crap around my casa and partying. Since my ways of trying to feel better about myself were failing, I assumed it was my money’s fault and not on my own.

I never had enough of it and making more seemed like a pipe dream. Where would I even start? What if something happened and I couldn’t make it anymore? When I started taking my money seriously in the form of learning how to budget, cutting costs and actually working on fixing what I needed to fix, aka me, I learned my money wasn’t the malo I had made it out to be.

One of the ways I’ve been able to become comfortable in my relationship with money, and not be emotional about it, is by going on a “money date” with myself. Once a week, I light candles and pull up some spreadsheets. It probably sounds goofy but I really enjoy this time in my week to focus on myself and my finances so I can be the independent Latina I want to be. I’m here to share with you today a few reasons why this can work for you and then some tips on how to get the mood right for you and your MCM, money.

Dates aren’t just for your friends and boyfriends/ They are for your new boo, money, too!

Why go on a money date?

The number one reason why I recommend going on a date or spending time with your money is simple. It’s to get rid of any negative energy or feeling towards it. I know it sounds counter productive, spending time with something that makes you feel bad but hear me out.

Money is an inanimate object yet we project a lot of emotion into it. And no, this isn’t our fault. From the time you were a baby in your mommy’s belly, you were being conditioned to believe a money script by all the people around you. It’s no one’s fault, but you have probably taken on the beliefs of your friends and parents, whether those beliefs are good or bad.

For example, one common belief I heard growing up was “when money’s gone, it’s gone.” Umm, okay. Where did it go and why is it not coming back?! No one ever explained to me that you can always earn more money so until recently, I’ve been trying to cut back on my already cut back expenses. This belief I had taken, by no one’s initial fault, really roots itself in scarcity so it never occurred to me to ever earn more. And so, I was always upset I couldn’t save what I wanted.

Do you see how easy it is to make money become emotional?

Money isn’t a person, it’s just an object. And you are giving it more money and energy then you need to. In order to break away from this nasty cycle, it’s important to spend time getting to know it and build a healthy relationship with it.

You need to just get to a place where you feel comfortable with your money so you can feel empowered, not stressed. So, how do we get started?

Step 1- Pick A Day

Pick a day and time where you can’t be interrupted. For example, my money date day and time is Thursday evening. I have no outstanding appointments. It’s also the day before payday so I can make a list of financial to dos such as throwing extra towards debt or schedule my online bill pay.

By picking a set day and sticking to it, it also helps you build a routine. It’s easier to stick to something when it’s a habit and becomes less intimidating too.

Step 2- Set The Mood

Anytime you are doing something you don’t want to do but know you need to, make the environment safe and comfortable. This will keep you from being overstimulated in general and relaxed during task. Not only is this a good rule of thumb for your money date, it also works in a lot of situations.

Grab a glass of wine or hot tea, light a candle and put on some comfy pajamas. II also put on a television show which doesn’t need a lot of attention for background noise. I’m currently working through reruns of RuPaul’s Drag Race (Team Shangela 4 EVA). You’re going to be taking care of business so you might as well get comfy and relax as much as you can.

Step 3- Sit and think . Set the intention.

It’s time to now ask yourself a hard question.

“How do you want your money to make you feel?”

Do you want to feel excited about your money? Do you want to feel accomplished? It may be hard to answer at first and the answer may change. Once you’ve realized how you want your money to feel, what are some steps you can think of to help move yourself there? For example, maybe you need to make more money. Think of some ways you can earn more and get a to do list started. Maybe it’s an annoying expense that keeps making you crazy? Come up with an action plan to take care of some business!

Step 4- It’s Business Time

Anyone else a Flight of the Conchords fan?

Even though you may have an actionable plan to get where you want to be, you still have a current situation that needs to be dealt with. Make sure bills are caught up. Reevaluate your current spending. Update the budget. Then start on your actionable plan to get to where you want to be with your boo money.

You want to get to the place where you have no overwhelming emotion when it comes to your money. It’s something we can find again and again. It is a renewable resource and is indefinite. Turn the noise off in your head Latina and go get it.